Remaining silent

There is no word unsaid under this sun..
That is why I say at nights that I love..
There is no word unsaid either at night or during the day..
And I say what has already been said in new forms..
There is no form in the world not tried...
And I remain silent, hiding my love inside...
You hear how my silence screams, don't you...
There are many declaring their love with silence, my love...
But there is no one who loves like I remain silent...

Aziz Nesin

Translated by Fatih Akgül

(Picture: Untitled, Zdislav Beksinski)

Insufficient world

My heart doesn't fit into my body

My body into my room
My room doesn't fit into my house
My house into the world
My world doesn't fit into the universe
I will explode
 

Forgive me

Sometimes I come too soon
Like I came to this world
Or sometimes too late
Like I loved you at this age

I am always late for happiness
I always go to misery too soon
Either everything has already come to an end
Or nothing has started yet

Be silent

Be silent; don’t speak.
It is a shame; stop your voice;
Be silent already.
And if speech is made of silver
Silence is made of gold.
The first words I heard as a child
when I cried, laughed, played were
“be silent!”
At school they told me half truths; they told me: “what do you care? Be silent”
When a girl first kissed me, they told me “Shhh be silent; don’t say a word”
Stop your voice; and don’t speak; be silent.
This went on until I became 20 years old.
The words of the grown up; the silence of the child.
I saw blood in the streets
“what do you care” they told me “you gonna get in trouble, be silent”
Later on my bosses got angry
“don’t get involved; keep your nose clean; be silent”
I got married, had children; I taught them to be silent
My wife was loyal and industrious and knew how to be silent.
She had a prudent mother who told her: “be silent”
During leap years my parents, my neighbors advised me
“be silent; don’t get involved; pretend you did not see anything; be silent”
We might have not had an envied relationship with our neighbors
But we were connected to them by
“be silent”
“Be silent” this person said and that one.
Those high up: “be silent”
Those below: “be silent.”
“Be silent” said our neighborhood
“Be silent” our city.
We swallowed our tongue.
We have a mouth but no voice
We even formed an association:
“The silent ones”
And there were many of us: a whole country, a big power
But mute
We were successful; we reached high goals; we received medals and rewards
Only with “be silent”
This “be silent” a great art.
Teach it to your children, your wife, your mother in law
And when you feel the need to speak
Deracinate your tongue
Make it stop.
Cut it off completely
Throw it to the dogs
It is an unnecessary tool when you don’t use it correctly.
You will sleep well at night this way; no nightmares; no doubts; no guilt
You will not feel ashamed in front of your kids
You will save yourself from having to speak
To say “you are right; I am like you; one of you”
But ahhh!
How
-Wretched me-
How I wish I could speak
But you will not
You will become a salivating verbalist
Cut off your tongue
Cut it off now
Become a mute
Since you are not gonna speak; you should dare that much.
Cut off your tongue.
This way you will be consistent with my plans
With my dreams
I retain my tongue amidst tears and cries
Because I fear that there will come a moment
Where I won’t be able to take it anymore
I will burst out
I won’t be afraid
I will hope
And every minute
I will fill my throat
With one syllable
One whisper
One stutter
One howl
Which will tell me:
SPEAK!

Aziz Nesin

(Picture:Silence, Odilon Redon)